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Komenarze 62 Part 6
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From Samantha MSF:

You managed to describe madness and obsession in such a real, yet beautiful way… Severus is going more and more crazy, longing for Harry’s presence, and it’s been only two weeks after their last closeness. Even if it sounds sentimental, I’m melting from seeing the cold, frozen heart of this lonely man so full of warmth and love. So impossibly strong love…

The dream is incredible, it’s so unusual to see Severus thinking of something like that. And now my hopes of a happy ending for both of him and Harry have become even greater)) Could Harry’s words be a real prophecy? And Severus’ confidence in inevitability of Harry’s death and their separation, this time forever, is sad and depressive. I guess the feeling of guilt and anger at himself are driving him mad even more, because now, when the end is so close, every day is as precious as never before, and he and Harry are spending them apart from each other. Only because of his insane jealousy and cruelty, because of his mistake which for now is almost the biggest in his life. Severus is unpredictable, as usual) He is so sure that soon he will have to give Harry to Voldemort, so why is he worrying so much about the boy’s study of the Black magic? What’s the difference – anyway Harry will very soon be dead, and till this time the Black magic just wouldn’t succeed in destroying his light. But Severus is still concerned, so much concerned that he went to the library and put the spell to create the barrier which will prevent Harry from studying the dirt. Maybe somewhere deep inside he can’t really imagine Harry’s death, his total disappearance from the face of the Earth? Maybe he expects the boy to have future, as bright as Harry himself is? Severus is acting irrationally, and it’s a rare thing as for him. But again, love is always blind and completely deprived of logic

Oh, I’m crying again… It is so touching and sad, seeing what this love has done to Severus. At least now he is thinking of his possible future – future without Harry, and can’t really imagine it. Or vise versa, he can imagine it so well that pain becomes irresistible, so he drinks and drinks and drinks. Already missing him so much… Even his precious Slytherins don’t matter now. Who would believe that one day Harry Potter will become the most important and beloved person to Severus Snape? One more time, thank you for this long, full of difficulties and absolutely realistic path from hate and indifference to Love! I have never seen such a believable way of falling in love. You proved that even cold, destroyed in soul and empty from the inside people are capable of this feeling, and I’m so sorry that it’s impossible to let everyone among the world read DI! It’s so psychological and dark, absolutely perfect.

Wow, I only now realized that Severus actually confessed that he loves Harry! Valentine's Day, Day of love, and he is thinking about what those stupid decorations have to do with feelings which are flaming inside him. Great! And, by the way, he is absolutely right! Finally it occurred to him that the fact that Harry is trying to learn the Back magic doesn’t matter. But it happened only now, and it says a lot.
I’m trying to imagine what this short future moment of closeness must mean to Severus… How much desirable and painful it has to be. Once again being with Harry, touching, loving him, and during all this time understanding that it will never happen again.

I adore this abstract! So impossibly bitter to watch Severus saying ‶goodbye" with each touch, each kiss, trying to remember everything. I love his desire to make Harry believe that he isn’t nothing to him – that he is needed, wanted, loved. And I’m sure that Harry’s uncertainty has really hurt Severus, so he decided to use everything in his arsenal just to get an answer he wanted to hear from the boy.
This man is also a complete optimist. He really can imagine standing near Voldemort and watching him killing Harry?! Ha, I would like to look at it. Certainly he wouldn’t be able to just stand and do nothing – the dark side of him, that monster who is in love with Harry, too, wouldn’t allow this. I think in that case Harry’s dream would become a reality – Severus would try to save him - even understanding that now it’s useless, too late to change anything, - and the Death Eaters would capture them both. Terrible final, I’m so grateful it didn’t happen!

This must be a real culmination of the whole DI! The greatest chapter ever! It’s is SO emotional and heart-rending that I had to stop reading for a few minutes and force my crazy heartbeat to calm down a bit. You’re writing so amazingly well that it’s impossible to read without drinking some hard liquors and stay sane! Despite everything, now it is clear as never before how strong Severus’ love is! He decided to sacrifice his greatest desire, himself by putting Harry above his liberty and his life. Severus Snape, this cold-hearted, indifferent person who adores inflicting pain, hurting, humiliating… and who is madly in love now. But he saved himself, either, because otherwise, with Harry’s death, his life would anyway be over. And now he can die, knowing that Harry is safe, at least for some time.
Those kisses… you can’t imagine how I was waiting for them! It’s still seems to be unimaginable for me that there are almost no kisses throughout all 53 chapters. What snarry can be without kisses?! But you again managed to change my point of view. And now I appreciate them even more, because they are so long-awaited! And again, I don’t understand how you can describe these moments with such… passion, despair, desire. I was like on fire while reading. It’s absolutely great. And Severus’ thoughts of Harry, there are just – I don’t even know how to say – outstanding, excellent, magnificent, sad and inspiring at the same time.
I have to repeat that I’m also very impressed because you have shown not only ‶Snape is slowly changing and his light side prevails due to his love to Harry", but ‶Snape is slowly beginning to love with his both light and dark sides". I believe that exactly his dark side (or maybe both of them) didn’t allow Harry to drink that Potion, forced him to provoke the boy even against his will, his rationalism. He loves too much to sacrifice such a precious treasure as Harry. And I understand why he hit him. Of course from Harry’s POV it was really freaked, but from Severus’… he is just so angry with himself for allowing his feelings to this boy to take over all other emotions.
This love/sex scene is the most tender, beautiful and bitter of all others. Finally Severus made the decision, and finally it belongs only to him. The main reason is not Voldemort and Dumbledore, just his own feelings, and this fact still somehow surprise me in a good sense. By the way, I think your choice of songs is just remarkable! I don’t know how you managed to find all of them, they fit perfectly to absolutely each chapter! And for this one (‶Desiderium Intimum") I also imagined the song of David Bowie:

How you turned my world,
you precious thing
You starve and near exhaust me
Everything I've done, I've done for you
I move the stars for no one

You've run so long
You've run so far

Your eyes can be so cruel
Just as I can be so cruel
Though I do believe in you
Yes, I do

Live without your sunlight
Love without your heartbeat
I, I can't live within you

(though I don’t quite know why ‶within" and not ‶without you").

This abstract is as impressive as the previous one! Now, when it’s obvious that Severus is ready to sacrifice not only his life, but also the most valuable thing he has – Harry’s love, - it touches me even deeper. It’s difficult to imagine how strong his feelings must be to do such a thing… Make Harry hate him, destroy all his love just to ensure the tolerable future for him… Honestly, I never believed that Snape, even being in love, would be ready to do something like that. Now I understand why it took him so much time to acknowledge the absolute impossibility of Harry’s death and his feelings towards him. It’s just that when he accepts something, he accepts it completely, with all sides, without exceptions. He couldn’t just decide ‶yes, I love Potter, but he must die anyway" or ‶yes, I love him, I can’t let him die, but I want to keep his love to me till the end". He either accepts everything or not, there is no the third option. That is why he was persuading himself that he didn’t need Harry’s closeness, his presence, his smile and laugh for so long. And now, giving up on this violent fight with himself, Severus decided to acknowledge that Harry is the whole world for him. So now he is ready to do absolutely everything to protect the boy, because taking care of him has become his new sense of life. It doesn’t matter whether he will die, lose Potter’s love, let the entire world be destroyed – his only purpose now is Harry, his life, his safety. It’s… marvelous. Dumbfounding. And as for Harry won’t come back to him this time – oh, how wrong Severus is. He should have known this impossible boy better)

I’m sure no one can hold back tears while reading this. From Harry’s POV it was a happy, full of hopes scene, and now, seeing through Severus’ eyes – it’s a goodbye moment. As Severus believes – forever. He might be ready to give everything to save Harry, but it doesn’t matter that it’s not hard for him. Intolerable. And the last kiss – it’s so painful… I was sobbing like a child. The last time… I know it’s not, but for now, it just feels so…

Severus again deserves a fucking medal for everything he must do! To change light, gentle, sincere moments into dirty, cruel, perverted?! Oh, it’s impossible to imagine. Not surprising that he couldn’t touch many of them – they are just stronger than anything else. But I also understand why Harry believed them. I would have done it, too. In moments like these the sense of betrayal must be overwhelming, completely illogical and strong. It just couldn’t be otherwise, although I think Severus had a little hope deep inside that Harry wouldn’t believe it.

Damn, through DI there were lots of moments when I was angry with Severus, thinking he deserves sufferings, but now… oh, no, it’s impossible. How painful everything is… especially the waiting…

And there it is – another culminate, incredibly intense moment… I am feeling again as though I am Severus, and those terrible, painful feelings are mine… This man took every bit of control he could gather, and managed to hold his mask even while tearing apart from inside. Only Harry’s look, full of hate and disgust, made his legs buckle, so what he must have felt seeing those sparks of hatred appearing from Harry’s wand? The physical evidence of his hatred… This moment totally broke my heart – you again used so many details, so exact descriptions of emotions… And Severus’ thought that the death is desired and pleasant if it means that all this pain goes away just paralyzed me. I have never expected that. But so true…
I knew it! I knew what those pages from book were about!) So glad I got it right. During all this time I was dying to see what is written in that small red box. And now I know! Harry’s letter is very, very touching and soul-breaking. I understand why it completely crushed Severus, making the feeling of loss even more unbearable. It’s over, it’s really over…

You can’t imagine how difficult it is to write a comment to this abstract! Even despite having read if for four times, I still cannot wait to read further, and my hands are shaking just as if I were reading for the first time. Severus’ last look at the Gryffindor Tower, his thoughts about months which he spent with Harry are fantastic – so sad, but sweet, anyway! It must the most difficult part for me… I so want Severus to come back…

Oh my God, just how, HOW could you write so well?! I managed to read it only after three futile attempts, because I almost feel – REALLY feel – Severus’ pain on a physical level. It’s so hurt, it’s destroying me – him. And the fact that he still somehow thinks of Harry, of his eyes… it’s the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.

Again, terribly realistic… It really HURTS, though I can’t understand how…

Yes, yes, yes! Thank you so much for finishing this part on such an optimistic note (well… sort of)! Now I can go to sleep almost calmly, knowing that Severus is all right, that his life won’t be in danger again (till the last chapter, of course. The battle with this evil Voldemort is only awaiting). Hogwarts… He is really back. To life, to school… to Harry.

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Każdy, kto ma problem z edycj± swojego profilu, z pewno¶ci± używa przegl±darki Mozilla, która blokuje edycję profilu. Jeżeli chcecie co¶ zmienić - obrazek, dane, itd. musicie to zrobić z przegl±darki Internet Explorer.
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Ankieta: Ulubiony rodział DI
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"Desiderium Intimum":

1) "You have no idea" (34)
2) "Jealousy" (32)
3) "The Birthday" (21)
4) "The Punishment"(25)
5) "Intoxication" (17)
6) "Let's get a party!" (33)
7) "Christmas Time" (35)
8) "Kinky games" (30)
9) "Depression" (20)
10) "Satisfaction" (9)

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Tylko zalogowani mog± dodawać posty w shoutboksie.

13/09/2019 00:35
Dziewczyny, nie planujecie znowu jakies opowiadania Snarry? smiley Albo czegokolwiek ze Snape'em? smiley

24/04/2019 13:38
Wracam do tego cuda raz na rok i za każdym razem budza sie we mnie te same silne emocje jak za pierwszym razem. Naprawde te ff jest juz ze mna kilka lat i szacunek wielki dla autorek za tak przepiękna

10/03/2019 19:52
Glenka, może chodzi ci o "Bez słów" na ff.necie ?

11/01/2019 21:47
Potrzebuję pomocy :X Kojarzy kto¶ tytuł snarry, gdzie Harry opiekował Severusem, który był w ¶pi±czce? Język polski. Top Harry

06/01/2019 00:05
czasem gdy chcę przeczytać opowiadanie ze ,,Snarry od A do Z'' wyskakuje info / że nie mam uprawnień do czytania danego opowiadania, tak samo jest z działem Ksi±g Zakazanych . Jak uzyskać d

01/12/2018 20:40
Adain bardzo dobre pytanie, ja ostatnio sobie przypomniałam o polskich forach, wchodzę na GPZP a tu zonk ;p

01/12/2018 20:39
Voldemort po godzinach ;0 https://twitter.com/flawd

16/10/2018 23:47
Czy kto¶ orientuje się co stało się z Gospod± i czy planowane jest wznowienie? Regularn± czytelniczk± nie jestem już od kilku lat, ale zawsze ze wzruszeniem sprawdzałam, co słychać na forum :<

08/08/2018 00:10
O ile dobrze pamiętam występował tan Snape ale nie pamiętam w jakiej roli. Kojarzy to¶ tytuł? Z góry dziękuję za pomoc

08/08/2018 00:10
Dodatkowo co¶ było o tym, że ta rodzina w szkole organizowała takie spotkania gdzie wyja¶niali uczniom z mugolskich rodzin różne pojęcia z ¶wiata czarodziejów. O ile dobrze pamiętam występował tan Sna

08/08/2018 00:09
Kojarzę, że Harry został wyrzucony przez ciotkę. Potem okazuję się, że jego mama należała do rodziny czystej krwi i miała brata, który dał Potterowi nowe imię i nazwisko. Dodatkowo co¶ było o tym, że

08/08/2018 00:04
Dobry wieczór. Mam takie pytanie. Od pewnego czasu poszukuję opowiadania, które kiedy¶ czytałam ale zapomniałam tytułu. To było jaki¶ rok temu więc nie bardzo pamiętam o czym to opowiadało. Kojarzę, ż

17/06/2018 13:03
Dziewczyny, wiecie, co się stało z Gospod± pod złamanym piórem? Zlikwidowano to forum, czy jak? T.T

Samantha MSF
11/05/2018 22:56
I hoped to re-watch all DI trailers, but many of them seem to not work any more smiley Any chance of re-uploading them? I remember that 27 seconds one, with the Vision... so beautiful

10/05/2018 18:14
siebie istnieć. Chyba dlatego tak bardzo kocham ten ff. (kiedy czytałam po raz pierwszy, jeszcze nie znałam mojej drugiej połówki, więc to już chyba we mnie siedziało ;p)

10/05/2018 18:13
Hihi u¶wiadomiłam sobie, jak czytałam w zeszłym roku, że zwi±zek Harry'ego ze Snapem w DI trochę przypomina mój własny zwi±zek. Też jeste¶my dla siebie toksyczni do bólu, a nie potrafimy bez siebi

10/05/2018 18:09
O widzę, że się pojawił ruch na shoutbox akurat w tym roku smiley Wła¶nie wracam przeczytać cało¶ć po raz trzeci. Aż się wzruszyłam widz±c now± dyskusję smiley

31/03/2018 00:44
Ludziki kochane, każdy z nas ma swoje życie Ale zajrzeć tutaj po takim czasie... serio aż mnie w dołku ¶ciska <3

25/03/2018 04:00
XD a ja się od kilku lat zastanawiam czy Wy wci±ż razem jeste¶cie, ale przecież nie napiszę do żadnej z takim pytaniem xD Cieszę się bardzo, dziewczyny! Buziaki!

08/03/2018 21:01
Wie kto¶ może co z hpforum się stało?

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